when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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