the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
