...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
