Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
