So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
