i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
