I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i think i have herpe
just one?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
