Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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