i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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