My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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