i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
