I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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