New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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