I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
