Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Rumble strips road head = magical
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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