What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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