C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
