I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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