I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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