it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
