Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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