Me. At least after what I've been through.
Non-Jews are for practice
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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