Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
