Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
