Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
