Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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