I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
