Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
