I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
