I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
