Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
