So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize