butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
