I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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