Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just invented taco cereal.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
