Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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