Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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