Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Floor bacon is actually really good
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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