we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
