Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm having to shit out rocks
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