Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
