And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
