P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize