me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize