im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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