I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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