you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize