one two three fourrrrnication!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
