dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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