I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
