But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
