Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
