I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
