I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
