I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
