i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
