so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
