Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
