I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
