I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
